Co-parenting is never a straightforward and easy path but the increase in use of family communication apps throughout the Family and Probate Courts have been shown to help navigate some of the more difficult aspects of co-parenting.
There are a few apps that the court will likely allow you and your ex spouse to use in an effort to communicate better but by far the most popular one is Our Family Wizard. Some of the time we see parents either requesting that the app be used or mutually agreeing on it. However, the uptrend has been the court ordering that the parents communicate via Our Family Wizard.
We oftentimes see parents using their children, especially preteen and teen age, to communicate and in theory be the “messenger” between the parents for things like school, extracurricular and medical appointments. This is inappropriate for a number of reasons but primarily because involving your child in your divorce in any context is harmful to them. However, parents still do it because they find it easier than communicating in a high conflict relationship. Our Family Wizard, and other comparable apps mitigate that issue completely.
Honestly, the features of Our Family Wizard specifically are a family lawyers dream.
Calls: Our Family Wizard recently released a new feature that allows for secure calling for co-parents. This is particularly helpful because it allows for dual consent prior to taking a call. Further, this feature uses an internet connection instead of a network which keeps your phone number secure and private.
Messaging: Co-parents need to be in communication when it comes to their children, but texting just doesn’t cut it in most cases. One of the biggest issues in divorce and child custody cases is the blame game. One party will say the other party did x,y,z and it turns into a classic “he said, she said” which is a lose lose situation for everyone. Our Family Wizard can help cut any incompatible viewpoints right out of the equation because the message board within the app keeps all of the messages and includes confirmation of read messages. Frequently we will see text logs where it appears a message may be deleted or one party may have claimed to have never seen the message. Our Family Wizards technology has some great characteristics that are fool proof to avoid that. Not only do the messages have a read receipt but they are also dated and time stamped to prevent interference. The app also has a ToneMeter. The website describes it as follows: “ToneMeter™ helps parents anticipate how the tone of their message, or note created with a Check-In or Moment, could be received by flagging statements that may be perceived as emotionally charged. This gives them the opportunity to modify the message before pressing send.” This is an outstanding feature as it allows you to take that breath before sending something that could cause further conflict. Having the ability to message without being in person or in a high stress text messaging war can ease anxiety and lower the risk of conflict.
Expense Log: To avoid possible contempt, co-parents need to make the extra effort to ensure that they are keeping track of their share of payments for sports, extracurriculars, uninsured medical bills, schooling, etc. This can be a huge burden. Our Family Wizard has an expense log feature that allows co-parents to track what they have paid for and even upload receipts. There is also the ability to make payments to the other parent in app which cuts out the back and forth and can help eliminate those missed payments.
Shared Calendar: For obvious reasons, a shared calendar is necessary. The features in the app allow parents to color code and add notes for different dates and activities. It is very common for co-parents to find themselves in constant argument when a change needs to be made to a schedule. Our Family Wizard is helpful because it has a change request feature that the other parent can either accept or reject opposed to the usual and common battle that can occur with an open ended message.
While there are many options for co-parenting applications, Our Family Wizard is definitely the most used within Massachusetts Probate and Family Courts, and for good reason.