Divorce is never a pleasant circumstance for anyone no matter how civil the two involved parties are with one another. You may already know the importance of managing stress as a divorcing parent or spouse, but what about your children? How does a kid manage the powerful emotions that come up when parents separate?
When it comes to children, they take everything to heart including their parents’ divorce. It can be painful and confusing. After all, everything they know to be true and reliable, their very foundation, gets shaken. Living together as one family under one roof is no longer an option. Daily routine is disrupted.
This can be a scary situation for a child. Unlike adults, children are not equipped with the skills necessary to handle such an event. That’s why you will need to help them cope with it.
With 22+ years of experience practicing family law in Massachusetts, Jay Davis understands what it takes to help clients in making a successful transition into a new chapter after a divorce. Hiring a knowledgeable family attorney is the first step towards achieving dissolution of marriage quickly especially if you have children. Call Jay Davis at 617-221-3548 for a free initial divorce consultation.
How to Help Your Children Deal with Your Divorce
Even though studies show that divorce affects a child’s behavior and personality, the truth is, you can still give your children the opportunity to thrive and become well-adjusted young adults who know they are loved. In this post, we are going to talk about some techniques for parents that they can use to help their children work through these trying times.
Don’t Alienate the Other Parent
Your first instinct may be to file for sole custody of your child so that your soon-to-be-ex spouse gets completely removed from the picture. But if your child’s well-being is your top priority, you should keep in mind that even though you are getting a divorce, your child is not. The other party still remains your child’s parent.
In a divorce in Massachusetts with a child, Jay Davis almost always encourages clients to negotiate a fair and reasonable custody and visitation arrangement that works for everyone. Your children will be happier and more emotionally-stable when they know that both parents will still be accessible to them after the divorce.
Keep the Communication Clear and Direct
This is in regards to your child as well as your ex-spouse. First of all, communicate to your children that they are not responsible for your divorce.
Children often feel responsible or guilty for “ruining” their parents’ relationship. You need to counter these misconceptions immediately and as many times as possible. Small children may worry they said something or did something which caused bad things (divorce) to happen. This may not make sense to you, but this is how little ones may think.
And in some cases, children do behave in a way that strains a marriage. We have seen cases where children were the source of significant conflict between parents. If this is the case with you, and your child is aware of it, they will start self-blaming themselves for your divorce. Explain to your kid that divorce is an adult solution to the adult problem of marital discord.
The clear communication policy should be implemented with your ex-spouse too. Post-divorce parenting has to be a collaborative effort in order to be successful. If you get the sole physical custody, always respect the right of the other parent to spend time with the kids.
Even with the sole custody, you’ll need to involve the other parent in all major decisions regarding the child. Don’t try to maneuver your way out of this, or your child will feel like the other parent is avoiding being a part of their lives.
If you feel your ex-spouse is being difficult or their proposed allocation of parental responsibilities doesn’t seem fair, contact Jay Davis today at 617-221-3548. When it comes to the welfare of children, Jay is a strong advocate of finding solutions that are in children’s best interests. Work with Jay and his winning legal team to achieve the best possible outcome during and after your divorce.
Be Consistent with Child Support
Child support payments are a big part of post-divorce parenting. Timely child support payments ensure that all the needs of your kids are being met. If you are a non-custodial parent who is obligated to pay child support, you need to make this a priority over everything else.
Being consistent with child support payments is not only crucial for the well-being of your child, but for you as well. Failure to pay child support on time is a serious matter in Massachusetts, and can result in legal consequences for you.
If you are on the receiving end of child support payments, make sure each payment reaches you on time. If you feel your ex-spouse is not responsible enough or will try to get out of their obligations, work with an experienced Massachusetts family attorney who can negotiate your rightful amount of child support payments.
Work With a Compassionate Family Attorney
Most people think that a divorce attorney is all about handling the legal aspect of the case. They don’t realize that a veteran family lawyer can simplify the process for the whole family, making it easier to understand and accept.
When you work with a divorce attorney who is kind and caring, they can separate the roller coaster emotions from your case and focus only on what’s best for the future of yourself and your children. They listen objectively to your circumstances and then create a strategy to fairly approach your unique case in a way that allows you to move forward with life.
Seek an Attorney Who is on Your Side
Davis Law Group, led by Jay Davis in Massachusetts, helps divorcing couples find a common ground on matters related to the future of their kids. Jay is a seasoned divorce and child custody attorney who understands that divorce proceedings can be axing for both children and parents.
If you are looking for an expert divorce attorney who can look after your child’s interests, without you having to run from pillar to post, call Jay at 617-221-3548 or contact us online.
James H. (Jay) Davis III
Thank you for reading. Need to talk? 617-221-3548