Having two loving and nurturing parents is what every child needs and deserves. Unless one of the parents is abusive, it’s in the best interest of the child that divorced parents share a joint custody.
This is why an increasing number of legal professionals in the country are now advocating shared child custody unless there’s a valid reason to do otherwise.
If you have decided to get a divorce, the matter of child custody alone may seem like a seriously contentious issue. Instead of trying to fight your battles on your own, why not hire a seasoned divorce and family attorney who understands the laws in Massachusetts and can guide you through this tough process.
Expert divorce attorney Jay Davis at Davis Law Group can see to it that you are taking all of the right steps while making the important decisions. The last thing you need at a time like this is to worry about arguing over parenting and financial matters. With over 22 years of experience under his belt, Jay can tell you exactly what to expect and how to reach the most favorable outcome. Call 617-221-3548 to get a free consultation with Jay and discuss your concerns regarding your situation.
Meanwhile, read on to learn why the idea of single-parent custody is becoming outdated.
Why Shared Custody is the Way to Go for Both Child and Parents
Over the years, a plenitude of studies have shown that single-parenting is less effective than shared-parenting. However, as important as the issue is, most people still largely subscribe to the archaic model of custody – which relies on the assumption that the mother is the natural caregiver.
Shared-parenting, on the other hand, benefits children mentally, emotionally, and even physically for reasons that might not even occur to you.
For example, when a child is able to spend time with both parents, it doubles their social-safety net AND enhances their life experience. The size of the nurturing familial circle doubles for the child, improving their odds of better emotional health.
That’s why even if you and your soon-to-be-ex cannot find common ground and reach agreements regarding child custody, it’s recommended to put your children’s well-being first.
Try to put your anger, pride, and hurt aside (if possible) and work together to give your children two loving and caring – if separate – homes.
Of course, this may sound easier said than done as divorce is one of the most stressful situations for the parties involved. But with the knowledgeable and calm guidance of a skilled Massachusetts divorce attorney like Jay Davis, a child custody agreement that works for both parents and their kids can be achieved.
Even if you just want to chat with a seasoned family attorney about divorce-related matters (like alimony payments or child support), Jay will be happy to offer his two cents during your free consultation call. Call 617-221-3548 today to talk to one of the most respected and successful divorce attorneys in Massachusetts.
Why Shared Child Custody Might be Better
Did you know that children who spend at least 35% of their time with each parent:
- Do better in school and get better grades
- Have better relationships with both their parents
- Are less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression
- Are less likely to drink, smoke, and do drugs
- Do better socially and psychologically
Children Love Having Two Parents
Two parents are better than one (unless one of them is abusive). They say “It takes a village to raise a child.” It means the child has a greater experience by interacting with more than one person who cares about them.
Also, neither of the parents will get marginalized and both will be able to make a huge contribution toward the health and well-being of the child. This also leaves room for a balanced upbringing. For example, you might enjoy reading to your son while your ex-spouse enjoys coaching him in baseball.
In a shared parenting situation, each parent can bring their own individual strengths to help develop their child. And children gain access to the extended families of both parents. This means more connections to family members and friends.
A joint custody has the benefit of allowing the child to know both parents extremely well. No matter how much you dislike your ex-spouse, the truth is, your child has a deep need to connect to both his/her mother AND father.
The absence of a father is sometimes associated with the following ill-effects in children:
- Truancy and poor performance in school
- Lower self-confidence and insecurity
- Alcohol and drug abuse
- Behavioral problems
- Teenage pregnancy, youth crime, and delinquency
Children Reap the Rewards of Competitive Parenting
Not all competition is unhealthy. No matter how amicable your divorce was, you don’t want to feel like your child prefers staying with your ex! This works to keep you as well as your ex on your game to provide better experiences.
Let’s say you are used to playing the “bad guy,” what with having stronger focus on academic achievement and overall discipline. But you still want your children to enjoy coming to stay with you. This will force you to soften your approach and pay more attention to your children’s needs.
A joint custody demands that both parents share the mundane aspects of parenting. You won’t have to suffer the unhealthy situation where one parent spends almost all the time indulging children in junk food and outings.
Co-Parenting Allows Both the Parents to Share Financial Resources Naturally
In a 50/50 custody, both parents get to contribute financially without even trying!
When both you and your ex are looking after the kids, you habitually pay for stuff without a second thought – well – depending on your financial situation and if the economy is stellar like it was from 2017 to early 2020, for instance. Both of you will pay for food, outings, energy costs, etc. according to what you can reasonably afford as just stated.
Now consider the sole custody option where child support payments have to be made. One parent must hand over money for things they might not want to pay for. To top it off, the non-custodial parent doesn’t even get to see their kid benefit from the spending!
Work With an Attorney Who Understands Your Children’s Best Interests
All of these benefits are opening the eyes of parents as well as lawmakers, who now increasingly recognize the benefits of co-parenting. As a parent, you must consider how beneficial shared parenting is for your child and think of it as your children’s right. Every kid deserves a childhood that will set them up for success and fulfillment.
If you have decided to get a divorce, but want to ensure you and your children come out of the situation as happy and healthy as possible, give a call to Jay Davis at 617-221-3548 or contact us online. He and his team of meticulous family law attorneys know what’s at stake and can help you make shared-parenting work.
James H. (Jay) Davis III
Thank you for reading. Need to talk? 617-221-3548