A divorce can be a life-altering experience in many ways. Prolific entertainer William Shatner even goes on to describe divorce as, “…probably as painful as death!” While this may sound unnecessarily morbid or dramatic, there’s no denying the impact of a divorce, not just for the couple involved, but also for their children and other family members.
If you are going through a divorce or are contemplating it, it’s vital to have a family-friendly legal team like the Davis Law Group on your side. We are committed to achieving your best interests all through the divorce proceedings in a fair and amicable manner.
Here are 6 gentle ways that can help you recover from a divorce and move on as seamlessly as possible toward a successful post-divorce life.
Take Time to Heal
If you are a parent, you might be tempted to “distract” yourself from the unsavory experience of divorce by putting all your attention on the children. But do you know that researchers suggest that could be detrimental to your own emotional well-being, especially in the long-term? While it’s certainly important to take care of your children, an unfulfilled parent is also likely to make more mistakes. So, don’t feel guilty to invest in “me time” — to connect with yourself, to revive your confidence, to sharpen your skills, meet new friends, and thus consciously work toward building a more consummate life post divorce.
Rebuild Your Social Network
At our core, we are all social beings. And yet, your social life is likely to go through several unexpected changes in the aftermath of a divorce. Friends may feel compelled to choose between you and your old partner. Family may feel confused, or left out from the decision-making process. In some cases, you may even need to relocate. In this condition, it becomes critical for you to focus a part of your energies on rebuilding your social network. This will also come in handy in providing you with much-needed emotional support as you transition from your old life.
Be Unafraid to Re-Invent Yourself
The emotional pain that accompanies a divorce can trigger unwarranted fears in your mind, and sometimes paint things to be worse than they actually are. For instance, women who have been committed homemakers often find themselves rudderless after a divorce. Fortunately, self-discovery and re-invention are the best ways to beat any identity crisis. So, go all-out to discover this new you. Indulge in new habits that can help develop a better you. Acquire new skills, visit new places, and try new things. Yes, be thoroughly unafraid of the new, so you can finally discover and enjoy being “you.”
Commit to Supporting Your Children As Their Parent, and Not As a Divorcee
Many newly-divorced parents make the mistake of dragging their children into their divorce, often in a bid to protect them from future pain. Again, this can have potentially damaging effects on children in the long-term, as they blame themselves for their parents’ separation. To restrain yourself, give yourself periodic reminders that only you have chosen to be the “ex” in the relationship, not your children.
They deserve to have loving relationships with both parents, independent of your experience with your old partner (except in situations where the co-parent has a history of domestic violence or abuse). Children in a divorce will usually thrive most when both parents willingly commit to a collaborative co-parenting relationship. This is the premise with which family law attorney Jay Davis guides his Massachusetts clients during a divorce, so child custody and co-parenting rights are fair not only to you, but also are in the best interest of your children. Call Davis Law Group at 617-221-3548 to schedule your free and confidential consultation.
Take Time to Strengthen the Non-Romantic Relationships in Your Life
Friends, neighbors, cousins, grandchildren, peers, and other like-minded people in your community — there are a lot of relationships that you may have put on the back-burner during your marriage. Your post-divorce life can provide you a satisfying do-over, not just with your life, but also the relationships you may have gradually let go as life got busy. Reviving these relationships is an excellent way to re-invent yourself while also rebuilding your post-divorce support group.
Be Pragmatic About Your Financial Future
There’s no easy way to say this — divorce hurts, not just emotionally, but also financially. The shared income now needs to serve not one, but two independent households. This often warrants short-term sacrifices so both parties are comfortable in the long-term. Don’t necessarily insist on keeping the family home, for instance, unless you are in a financial position to pay for its maintenance and upkeep. Be judicious in dividing the marital assets according to your long-term financial needs.
Speak to Divorce Attorney Jay Davis for the Right Legal Advice
A divorce can devastate you both emotionally and financially if your legal team is found lacking. This is why it’s worthwhile to seeking legal guidance from a reputable family law attorney such as Jay Davis. At Davis Law Group, we are dedicated to working for the best interest of our clients and helping them achieve their goals in the best possible manner. Don’t hesitate to find out how the Davis Law Group in Massachusetts can help your case with this simple online form. In addition, you can call Jay directly at 617-221-3548.
James H. (Jay) Davis III
Thank you for reading. Need to talk? 617-221-3548