When you are going through a divorce, the relationship between you and your soon-to-be ex can become quite touchy. Some stress and tension is common, of course, but when emotions start running high, things can get worse.
This means more conflict and a higher legal bill – both during the divorce and after. However, there are ways to make the process go more smoothly by avoiding some common mistakes divorcing couples make.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and don’t know how to figure out your next step, it’s time to call an expert. Jay Davis is a skilled divorce attorney in Massachusetts with 22+ years of experience. Jay has successfully helped thousands of divorcing couples reach the best resolution regarding child custody, alimony, and more. Call 617-221-3548 to schedule a no-obligation, free consultation with Jay and get the best legal advice to navigate your situation.
In this post, Jay is sharing some common mistakes he has seen divorcing couples make over the years. Even though it is understandable that you are suffering emotionally right now, making these mistakes could seriously hurt your personal and financial interests.
1. Putting the Kids in the Crossfire
With you divorcing, it is going to be hard enough for your kids. Don’t make it worse for them by forcing them to choose sides. Using your children to hurt the other parent is unwise and just cruel. Keep in mind that this is your divorce – not your kids’. By forcing the child to break off from one parent, they will also lose access to important relatives on the other side that they love.
Please note that in a situation where one parent is physically or emotionally abusive to the child, different guidelines will apply. In such a case, you have every right to protect your little ones from the abusive parent.
2. Fighting With Your Ex-Spouse Over Custody for Flimsy Reasons
You are hurt and you are mad, and you want your soon-to-be ex to hurt just as bad. The thing is, when you enter a legal custody battle, it’s the children that suffer the most.
If you find it impossible to ever find a middle ground with your partner, then the custody battle might be traumatic for your children. Choose what’s best for your child and make your decisions rationally, not emotionally.
3. Inadequate Understanding of Your Financial Situation
Before you decide to file for divorce, get a complete knowledge of your assets and debts, both personal and joint. If you suspect your spouse is not being upfront about their income or assets, you could hire a financial expert or private investigator to give you the full picture.
If you are on the other side, i.e., you want to hide your income/assets from your soon-to-be-ex, DON’T. The truth is bound to come out and the judge will not take kindly to finding out you lied.
4. Trying to Shoulder the Burden All Alone
There is a reason why they say that man is a social animal. No matter how strong and capable we think we are, getting emotional support from others can be invaluable during these hard times. It is okay to depend on your loyal friends and family members who can comfort you and help you get through the divorce.
However, make sure you understand that these well-intentioned folks in your life are not a substitute for a legal expert. During your divorce, a relative, friend, or even a neighbor may come up to share their own stories and offer their two cents. But no two divorces are ever the same because no two people are ever the same!
Get your advice from an actual divorce attorney in Massachusetts who specializes in the cases of divorce, child custody, alimony payments, and other related matters. If you’re tired of unsolicited legal advice from your well-wishers, call the office of Jay Davis at 617-221-3548. Jay will be happy to discuss your case and offer his expertise to ensure you come out of your divorce as happy as possible.
5. Not Disclosing All the Facts to Your Attorney
Sometimes, during legal situations, people withhold information from their attorneys due to trust issues. They feel uncomfortable opening up to their lawyer, thinking they would lose control over the situation. But this can backfire in major ways. If you want your attorney to get you the most favorable outcome, you must tell the whole truth about your financials, motives, and other important details.
6. Commenting About Your Divorce Proceedings On Social Media
Using social media to post updates about your ongoing divorce can cause you to lose the legal battle. Whatever you share online can be used against you in the court, even if you delete the content as nothing digital can ever be eliminated.
7. Ignoring the Tax Implications
The rich and wealthy are not the only ones who experience tax complications during a divorce. In the state of Massachusetts, you attract tax penalties when you split your assets two ways. Whether you collect or pay child support or alimony payments, you are going to have to deal with tax consequences. Not knowing these things before you file for divorce can cost you heavily in taxes later on.
8. Making Verbal Agreements
Don’t make any kind of arrangements with your ex-spouse about your children or financial assets without your attorney present. Even if you want to settle, it is crucial that you do it in the presence of your lawyer.
Verbal agreements or anything that is not documented can’t be contested in a court. No matter how amicable your ex-spouse is being, there is always a risk that they are going to change their mind and break the promise later.
9. Choosing the Cheapest Attorney You Can Find
An inexperienced divorce attorney can end up costing you a lot in the long run. You need a lawyer who understands your exact circumstances and the facts of your case and can offer you good counsel about the potential outcomes. There is no rule that a higher-priced lawyer is better either. Whoever you choose should advocate for your best interests and help you get the best outcome.
10. Getting Into a New Relationship Too Early
If you start dating someone before your divorce is finalized, you risk increasing both the stress and the costs of your divorce. We understand how lonely and stressful it can get when you’re going through a divorce. You might be longing to feel desirable again or just have some fun. You might even think that one date can’t hurt, right? Actually it can.
Your ex-spouse might get jealous and cause issues during the negotiations. When your ex-spouse sees you with someone else, they may become enraged, and it can also create the suspicion that your new relationship started out as an “affair” before you even filed for the divorce. In such cases, the person you start dating can be deposed by the lawyer of your ex and even subpoenaed to testify in the court. To put it simply, things can get unnecessarily complicated.
Call Davis Law Group for a Hassle-Free Divorce in Massachusetts
Davis Law Group has been representing clients in Massachusetts since 1998. Jay Davis and his team of diligent legal attorneys understand what’s at stake when you are going through a divorce and how to help you avoid the costly mistakes.
If you’re ready to enter the new chapter of your life with confidence and peace of mind, call us at 617-221-3548 or contact us online.
James H. (Jay) Davis III
Thank you for reading. Need to talk? 617-221-3548